Eikev

Hashem would appear to be telling us this week that IF we observe the mitzvoth and act like good Jews THEN he will take care of us. IF we don’t, THEN we will have hard times (to put it lightly). Personally, I don’t subscribe to a systems of rewards and punishments as a motivator to do anything. If you instill in a child that the only reason to do well in school is to get a good grade then they won’t be learning for the sake of learning…they will learn only how to get good grades. Or if you tell them not do something for fear of punishment they will do the minimum in order to avoid punishment…not a good system. So you see how maybe this week’s parsha was a little off putting for me.

However, Rashi helped me out because he had a similar problem. Instead of reading “Eikev” as consequence, one could read it to mean “heel” (as in Yaakov who fell at the heels of Esau). How does reading “heel” help us at all? What a good question. Rashi explains it in a way I understood: basically Hashem wants us to pay attention even to the most minor of mitzvoth (the heels). To pay attention to these seemingly minor mitzvoth will lead to our spiritual fulfillment. Now that is an idea I can get behind.

It’s something that I struggle with…these minor commandments. I can get through life being nice to people, giving to charity, loving my neighbor, blah blah blah. However, for the life of me, I can’t seem to wash my hands before I eat bread every single time. Or really ever say blessings over food when it isn’t hamotzi at a big group meal or Shabbat or something. There are another million little things that I don’t do that I’m actively aware of but just choose not to for reasons of laziness or discomfort or WHATEVER excuse I use. I justify it in my head as being unnecessary. I understand why I need to be nice to my neighbor…it makes sense to me. The world would be a wonderful place if we were all kind and gentle and understanding toward one another. But what difference does it make if I bless the water I’m drinking??? Truthfully, I don’t know. I’ve heard beautiful answers/justifications but they still don’t push me to do it. And maybe this week’s parsha is telling me to. Just because I don’t necessarily understand it doesn’t mean it isn’t important. I don't understand 99.9 percent of anything. Hashem has probably got a better idea than I do. I’ll let you know how my minor observance thing goes. I’ll experiment this week. It’s a process. 

Va’etchanan

As with last week (and the next several weeks worth of parshiyot), we are once again hearing a recounting of the books of BaMidbar and Shemot. However, the book of Devarim feels more like Moshe Rabbenu’s final recounting before he passes away rather than an objective narrative. It’s what I imagine most older people would do/would want to do before they die; leave their version of their life lessons and stories behind to both try and teach the next generation some lessons as well as to make their point of view known one last time.  

Sometimes older people say really ignorant and hurtful things. And they also don’t really understand technology or anything new. This leads to the assumption that the elderly are to be dismissed and not to be paid attention to. It’s an unfortunate trend in our society and one that I think this week’s parsha speaks to. Up to this point we had seen Moshe Rabbenu stumble and fall. We have seen him at his weakest and we see him have to heartbreakingly admit to his followers that after all this time leading them through the desert, he would not be allowed to enter Eretz Yisrael. Yet, his final recounting gets an entire book dedicated to it. The final book of the Chumash, no less. Moshe gets the actual final word according to Hashem. That’s kind of a big deal. Maybe the Torah is trying to tell us something. Just kidding. OBVIOUSLY it is.

Interestingly enough, in this week’s parsha we get the words to the Shema prayer. This is probably heretical to say…but I’m going to say it anyway. When I read through Sefer Devarim I can’t help but imagine Moshe Rabbenu as a grandfather type figure. In his final words he gives Am Yisrael the quintessential Jewish prayer that all Jews must recite twice a day and preferably before they die. He leaves behind the words that have kept and unified the Jewish people for thousands of years! Not all of us can aspire to do the same with our last words!

Maybe the elderly have some quirky things to say…but in the end they have seen and experienced more than anybody else. That counts for something. They have made many more mistakes than we have and they are human just like the rest of us. But it is important to keep in mind that in the final retellings of their lives, they just might have a special message for us; a message that we may never get to hear again so try to take it somewhat seriously. 

Devarim

I'm a little late on this one...it was my last Shabbat on Kibbutz so I got busy:

The first time I read through this week’s parsha I thought to myself, “well…isn’t this familiar?” And that’s because it was. Devarim is essentially a slightly varied retelling of the Exodus story. That’s right. The same exact stories are retold right before (and immediately after) the death of Moshe Rabbenu. It’s easy enough to skim over the stories because we literally just read these events over the last couple of weeks so what’s the point of going over them again. However, there are slight variations in the retelling which give new perspective to the previous parshiot.

In the first parsha of the book of Devarim, we rehear the story of the twelve spies and their negative forecasting of the conquest of Eretz Yisrael. In BaMidbar we learn that the Israelites wish they had been left back in Egypt because clearly Hashem and brought them out here just to die. However, in the newest version of the story we learn that Israelites accuse Hashem of hating them. You read that correctly. The Israelites tell Moshe that Hashem hates them which was definitely not mentioned the first time around yet seems like kind of a big deal. Previously the Israelites just seemed frustrated and whiny (as they do throughout their journey). Now I could really feel the hurt in their plea. To accuse Hashem of hating them is extreme but also desperate.

There have been times in my life when I felt that people have hated me. There have even been times when I’ve told others that I hated THEM. It isn’t a word that is used lightly except maybe by children. To feel that your protector hates you when you are most vulnerable and to feel it strong enough bring the accusation to your mediator is intense.

I have made fun of Am Yisrael in this blog for their complaining ways and for their lack of trust in their proven leader. Yet, maybe I should have been more sympathetic to their plight. To feel hated by the one that is supposed to take care of you when you have no one else to turn to, is frightening. And lonely. And helpless. The path of our people to Eretz Yisrael was not simple. Is still not simple. It can be scary and we will feel alone sometimes. Through it all we have each other to fall back on. We build family and we have the traditions of our people that keep us united. Don’t get me wrong. Hashem has got our backs, too. It just can be a little difficult to accept and/or understand sometimes. 

Masei

“It’s not the destination it’s the journey.” I hate when people say that. I pretty much hate any cliché, to be fair. However, for the parsha called “Journeys” (Masei) this saying seemed highly relevant. Turns out it is a biblical cliché so what can you do.

The parsha starts out telling us about the 42 different “journeys” or encampments made along the way to the promised land. None of the plot points are mentioned except the death of Aaron on Mount Hor; just the names of the places that the Israelites stopped. It then goes on to enumerate the borders of the promised land and to remind everyone of their promised inheritance. Why do we need to be reminded of the various stops along the way? Why is each stop considered a journey unto itself? In my humble opinion, I think that the Torah is not telling us “it’s not the destination but the journey” bur rather it IS the destination AND the journey. Of course the destination is important, so important that we must be reminded of the exact borders of the land. But each stop along the way had its own significance and taught the people the lessons they needed to learn before they could even begin to think about entering Eretz Yisrael. It all happened for a reason; every single moment of the last 40 years of wandering.

Technically speaking, I am a citizen of the State of Israel. So what exactly is my destination if I am already here? Good question, reader. Very thoughtful. Living in the land of Israel is very important but we aren’t yet done. We aren’t done settling the land, first of all. There are many pieces of land that belong to Eretz Yisrael that aren’t currently a part of the State of Israel. Not to get political or anything (I understand that such a thing might currently be disastrous in the search for a peaceful Middle East…it’s just an ideal for the future of the Jewish people. Calm down, reader). We are still waiting for Moshiach and Beit haMikdash. We still have collective improvements to be made in the way the various factions of Jewish people talk to each other. Jews shouldn’t be fighting other Jews and yet I see and hear plenty of secular people act disgusted at the thought of a haredi Jew or I get called an unpleasant name by a religious Jew because my skirt doesn’t completely cover my knees. 

Not only do we have a collective need for communal harmony, but we also have an abundant need for bettering ourselves. I want so desperately to be at peace with myself and my past and to have everyone around me feel respected at all times. Those are my own personal goals and I am sure you have your own, too. Basically, to conclude, if you aren’t currently located in Eretz Yisrael you need to get here even if it takes you 42 journeys to do so. Better late than never. And if you are here, then you still have a mountain of work ahead of you. Our own geographic journeys are over but there is still a whole lot of work to do on the inside both individually and communally. 

Matot

I’ve spent the last week working on my kibbutz’s vineyard in 40 degree heat, getting dirty, working hard, settling Hashem’s land. I never thought of myself as a physical laborer but working outside in Eretz Yisrael is a whole other type of experience. I have never felt so productive and Zionistic. No matter how many times you are stung by wasps, or how sweaty and dehydrated you are, all you have to do is look out at Mount Gilboa or Shomron and realize that all your work is worth it. You are achieving the Jewish dream. All of this comes at a time when Eretz Yisrael finds itself at war with Hamas. Baruch Hashem for a Jewish state that protects its citizens and even goes out of its way to protect the people of Gaza that have the unfortunate circumstance of living in a piece of land controlled by a terrorist organization. Israel really is the promised land…so as I read this week’s parsha (Matot) I was confused as to why the tribes of Gad and Reuven asked to settle East of the Jordan rather than continue onwards to Canaan.

Well, I do understand a little bit. According to the Torah the lands that Gad and Reuven asked for were better for their cattle and would better suit their needs. We all want to take care of our families, I get that. Don’t get me wrong, it still seems absurd to make it that far and then stop right before the final destination and not inherit any of the land promised by Hashem. I would think that by this point in the journey the Israelites would finally understand that maybe Hashem really does know best as has been demonstrated countless times during their period of wandering and that anyone that has disagreed has suffered immensely...but that’s humanity for you. We are a stubborn bunch.

Moshe, being the just leader that he is, agrees to their request with a caveat; you may take the land that you want but only if you continue on with the Israelites to gain the land West of the Jordan as well and Reuven and Gad seem happy enough to go along with the plan. From this I feel it there is a message about communal versus individual needs and desires. The two tribes clearly felt staying in the East would be better for their own needs yet they agree to aid in the communal battle for Eretz Yisrael. Sometimes we have to put down our own selfish desires to help out our people, our community, the people that we needed and will need again in our lifetimes. Living life selfishly will get you nowhere in the end because everyone needs help sometimes and only within a community will you find the infrastructure for personal love and support. Of all communities, in the history of human existence, there haven’t been communities as successful as boosting one another up than that of Am Yisrael. Maybe I don’t understand why Gad and Reuven would want to settle outside of the land but I can respect that they, at least, put down their personal interests temporarily to fight for their people. 

Pinchas

Parshat Pinchas perplexes me every year. I simply do not know how to interpret it. For those that need to be updated, Pinchas was a zealous Jew that killed a Jewish man and Midianite woman for desecrating the Torah. Pinchas is seemingly rewarded with the “Covenant of Peace” which always him access to the priesthood. Surely Pinchas did the right thing for he stopped the plague and he stood up for Judaism…however zealotry is not a Jewish value. Never has been or never will be. Hashem and Hashem’s prophets can take decisive measure but giving everyone free reign to do what they feel is Hashem’s will is dangerous. Anyone can see how that could go wrong very quickly. So then WHY is Pinchas venerated?

Well…I read plenty of commentaries out there and they all have their theories but I found precisely none of them even remotely compelling. There is no way to distinguish Pinchas’ behavior from our own. Just the last couple of weeks the Jewish people have suffered at the hands of both Jewish and Muslim zealots. And I’m sure they all felt they were doing Hashem’s work just as Pinchas did. Nowhere else in the Torah do we find recommendations for zealousness so how exactly are we supposed to react to this week’s parshah? How do we explain it to our children? Do we encourage such strong emotional reactions? Condemn them? If we condemn them, how can we explain the reward given to him?

I will continue to search for an answer that is at least a little bit satisfying but for now I have to be content with having questions. I don’t pretend to understand everything and I am fine admitting that I don’t have all the answers which is precisely where I am at right now. Sometimes this is how life is. And by sometimes I mean pretty much all the time. No one has the answer to everything and even collectively we don’t have even 1% of the answers yet we must continue to live our lives. Next week we will move on to the next parsha and we’ll come back to Pinchas next year.

If you have any cool insight into the parsha it would be very welcome!

Balak

It has been a very sad week for the Jewish people. I really didn’t feel like writing a blog post; I just couldn’t think about anything besides the deaths of Eyal, Gil-ad and Naftali. Typically I don’t show emotions but the last couple of days I have felt upset, angry, confused…and reading the mindless chatter online doesn’t help either. Grieving is personal. When three teenagers die for no other reason than their Jewish blood, it hurts and I feel it. I feel it more than I know how to articulate. These boys were murdered for being Jewish, on their way home from yeshiva, so it only seems fair to continue my own Jewish journey with them in mind.  

The parsha is Balak in which Balak seeks the help from the gentile prophet Balaam in cursing the Jewish people. After some back and forth with Hashem, Balaam sets out and once he sees Am Yisrael the only words that come out of his mouth are not curses but some of the most beautiful blessings seen in all of the Torah. So beautiful, in fact, that we repeat Balaam’s words every time we enter a synagogue. “מַה טֹּבוּ אֹהָלֶיךָ, יַעֲקֹב; מִשְׁכְּנֹתֶיךָ, יִשְׂרָאֵל” “How goodly are your tents, Jacob, your dwellings, Israel.” Eventually Balak gets his way in that Balaam gets the Moabite women to “distract” the Israelite men…but in the end Am Yisrael is in Eretz Yisrael and thriving. Balak and Balaam get a minor victory but, as usual, the Jewish people live on.

Some argue that Balaam fully intended on cursing the Israelites and Hashem literally put the blessings in his mouth by force. I don’t see it as such. These past two and a half weeks have been an emotional nightmare here in Eretz Yisrael. Yet through it all I have felt the utmost pride and respect for our people. When one of our own is in danger we stick together and we work hard to bring an end to the suffering. Today, thousands of people traveled to Modi’in to attend the funeral and everyone else watched from home. We all feel as though we knew these boys, as if members of our own family were taken. Where else do you see this? This will to survive, to protect each other? I argue that it is not to be found anywhere else in history. Do we always agree? Absolutely not. Is it always pretty? Of course not. When it comes down to survival and our love for each other, however, the connection and the atmosphere are indescribable. I truly believe that Balaam saw this with his own eyes and that’s why nothing but blessings came forth. Balaam saw what the world is seeing now; the incredible might of the Jewish people.