BaMidbar

"Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters. They never ask: 'What does his voice sound like?'" ---The Little Prince

BaMidbar! In English we start the book of "Numbers" this week. The first parsha of the book of Numbers lives up to its name. I would guesstimate that 90% of the parsha is a census of the Israelites in the desert and of the Levites who are now responsible for the Mishkan. Now, I don't know about you, but I find numbers to be boring. I zone out as soon as I see a number, I just don't care...which made reading the parsha a little difficult. I won't lie to you. On top of the dullness of the counting of people (over and over and over again), numbers are so impersonal. Why does Hashem need us to be counted so much??? Seems unnecessary for Hashem, unnecessary for the reader, and unnecessary for Moshe whose job is to keep counting.

Several times this week I've heard the idea that counting is actually a form of affection. We count things in a collection that we love, we count our money in our wallet, we count off our children after leaving the house. The Israelites being counted isn't just us being thought of as simply a number...Hashem cares so much about us that every once and a while we take a break in our journey and makes sure we are all still there. Sometimes when we think of ourselves as just a number we tend to assume that we are easily replaceable; if someone disappears another number fills in. However, using this other perspective completely flips the idea of replaceability. Every single Jew matters. That's why we need to stop account for each other so often. Hashem cares so much about each person that we have to count ourselves off several times. Additionally, the Torah uses the term "lift the head" to denote counting. Why lifting the head? Why not just count? Rabbi Sacks points out that lifting the head makes the counting more personal, I think. It connotes love and pride. Each person lifts their head to be looked at as a person, an individual. No one is forgotten, left behind. More importantly, every person is recognized as their own unique person.

I'm trying to notice the people around me more. I live in my own little world were I stare at tumblr/Liz Lemon memes four hours at a time. I'm going to be honest...people usually annoy me so I keep to myself. However, I'm working on realizing that everyone matters, everyone is here for a reason, everyone has fears, ambitions, stories. Now I'm aware of my limitations, I can't lift the heads of seven billion people but I can start with like five. Not five billion, to make that clear. I meant just five. My talk-tor told me to set achievable goals. I guess what I am trying to say is...if Hashem thinks each one of us matters then there is probably a reason for it. So let's try to treat each other in a way that acknowledges that super awesome fact.