Vayeitzei

Disclaimer: The world is a depressing place. And this is a semi-depressing parsha. Unless you're an optimist in which case this parsha is full of weddings and babies and Godly interactions. But that's not me.

We start out the parsha with Yaakov's journey to Haran and we hear about his wrestling match with an angel in which Yaakov is renamed "Yisrael" or "struggles with God." From here the struggling only grows more intense. Of course we know about the trials and tribulations of Leah and her weak eyes from all her crying. We know she isn't the favored wife and her seemingly never ending child bearing doesn't even seem to cheer her up that much. She's constantly comparing herself to her sister and attempting to gain dominance with her ability to produce male children. But surely Rachel's story is much happier? Sure, she doesn't have any children until the very end (even then only a modest number of two boys)..but Yaakov loves her from the second he sees her.

Rashi brings down from the midrash that Yaakov wept when he saw Rachel because he foresaw that she was going to be buried separately from him. Later in the parsha we find out why Rachel receives this destiny (according to the midrash as cited by Rashi). If we read the parsha through the lenses of the midrash we are constantly haunted by the knowledge that Rachel is going to die and she won't have the honor of being buried with the others in Hevron.

Struggle, struggle, struggle. That's like 90% of this week's parsha. However, it can't be that bad. We are all descendants of Yaakov so his struggles must have been important. For the first time in my life I went to Kever Rachel (on Erev Sukkot). There I read the Tikkun Rachel which is one of the most horrifying things I've ever read in my life..full of talk of destruction and exile. When I looked around I saw a lot of women in pain. I don't know any of their stories or why they were there but one could feel the collective grief in the room. Being a part of Am YISRAEL means being human. It means living in a world where we'll struggle and sometimes fail. But to have those struggles and still turn to Hashem and trust that it will all work out the way it is supposed to is what it really means to be a Jew.
That and bagels and lox (unless you're Sephardi).

Toledot

Parshas Toledos. Stam. I’m not that yeshivish/yeshivish even a little bit. I pronounce “Tav” like a “T”...most of the time.

Looks like I started this post off track. Bli neder, I’ll make a point about this week’s parsha at some point. And fill in awkward silences with my worldly observations.

Take two: Parshat Toledot. Upon my first readthrough of the parsha I came across (what I thought was) a brilliant observation; Rivka not only talks to HaKadosh BaruchHu all by herself but she is also answered by him! Women don’t get a lot of one on one time with HaShem and it takes quite a bit of courage to initiate such an encounter in the male dominated field of prophecy. Yet, there it is. Rivka demands to know why she is struggling so much in her pregnancy and HaShem answers that she is bearing twins..the futures of two very different nations are battling it out in her womb. Not only is she carrying twins but she even gets to know that the second born (Yaakov) will be the rightful successor of her husband Yitzchak. That’s amazing, I thought. Such an amazing encounter between HaShem and a woman will surely have volumes written about. Rivka must have been the first prophetess or something.

Oh..yes. Our sages have plenty to say about Rivka’s holy inquiry but it is not nearly as positive as I had thought it would be. Both the Maharal and the Netziv point out that Rivka inquired of HaShem behind her husband’s back. That she felt fear/awe of her husband and did not feel she could tell Yitzchak the truth. Which of course sets up the end of the parsha where Rivka helps Yaakov trick Yitzchak into receiving the first born blessings.

“If only Rivka was just honest with Yitzchak so much of the misunderstanding could have been avoided!” Yes. That is a cheap and easy point to be made using this understanding. HOWEVER, I do not wish to go there. First of all, I trust our matriarchs and patriarchs and the word of the Torah is holy. So I’m not about to condemn any of our holy ancestors. Or pretend like I am on their level and can understand their motivations. Everything happened the way it did for a reason. Using the Maharal and Netziv’s interpretations, however, does help teach a lesson. A lesson in understanding that emotional intelligence and rational action aren’t necessarily so easy to balance. Both are equally valid and should be respected and understood. There is a false dichotomy that things either “make sense” or don’t. That’s not quite how it works. There are many ways to see the world. Maybe if Rivka did what “made sense” she wouldn’t have had the opportunity to speak directly to HaShem. We weren’t given emotional reactions so that we could just ignore them...trust me. I’ve tried. That generally doesn’t end well. There are Rivkas and there are Yitzchaks in the world. Both serve HaShem and in different ways. As long as we’re following Torah and turning to HaShem (or his Sages as the midrash says is actually meant by Rivka’s encounter with the divine) then we’re free to listen to our inner truths as well.

Or something.